One month away from 2009 and I'm truly feeling the extent of my own mortality. This year has come and gone in such short order that I feel as though my life has been put in fast forward. If the years to come flow by this quickly I will be dead and gone in nothing but the blink of an eye. It is a rather sobering thought and in retrospect its thoughts like these that may have started my current life planning panic mode. The expression do or die has never felt more relevant to me than now.
This week I took a peek at value village and picked up a few books, one of which was "the mother of all pregnancy books Canadian edition", I have gone through about three quarters of it and decided the Gorey birthing details chapter can wait until after we conceive. Now the challenge is trying to find a doctor to get a pre-pregnancy check up and hopefully that doctor will be the same doctor that takes care of me during my whole pregnancy....but we'll see I'm trying to remind myself that I need to be more flexible with my life plans so I don't have another full blown attack of panic/rage like I did last week.
But overall although I'm not done researching this whole parenting thing before I start to actively try for a baby I think I'm feeling a bit more confident that I'm ready to get this ball rolling in the new year. The boyfriend is taking a very light approach to the whole idea and trying to calm any fears I may have with things like "It will all work out", and "we'll just do what we have to do to take care of a baby". I know he means well but his attempt at this calm, cool approach is only doing one thing for me- making me worry and panic enough for the both of us. I don't think bringing a human being into the world who could die or get ill on any given day you fuck up is something to take as lightly as a change in weather. I honestly don't believe he has any idea what is going to be involved in parenting and I do think he is going to be in for a hell of a jolt when we have a screaming baby keeping us up all hours of the night.
Now back to life pre-biological clock meltdown. I have finally received an order for some of my Gluten free bread for this Wednesday so tomorrow night I'm going to start a batch and get this side business thing started!!. I had almost given up hope that anyone would report back with whether or not they liked it. In fact ironically that very afternoon my boss had just started to tease me and tell me I must have poisoned the customers I gave a sample too. After the couple came in to place the order I phoned him and told him triumphantly that no one had been poisoned!!. We both laughed pretty hard about the timing on that one.
Sweater boots!!! I have fallen in love with a pair of sweater boots and I'm just waiting for some Christmas money to roll in the mail to pick myself up a pair.
I normally don't fall into the shoe lover category ( I have been known to cling viciously to an old pair of sneakers until the point they develop drastic water seepage through holes time and again) but this fall I have been obsessed with Knit anything!!! I have picked up a few very interesting knit blouses (did I just say blouse? :)) and have decided that sweaters have officially made the transition from Grandma to sexy!. Go sweaters!!!. I might note that since I have started knitting I have had a new found respect for knitwear in general, but never like this. It can only be described as a full on fetish.
Cute movie alert!!! BOLT.
If you have a dog I'm sure you will love this movie!! As I have two little dogs with big hearts very much like Bolt this movie tugged at my heart strings. This movie is great for younger kids as there is no real concrete bad guy to scare them and it is full of slapstick and running gags two styles of humor favoured by children. The fact that a variety of animals starring in this film cover pretty much every pet group makes it easy for most children to find a favourite character based on the animals they love in their own lives. For the adults it is no DreamWorks animation full of jokes/gags and innuendo that floats safely over children's heads, but its also not as bad as sitting through an episode of any of the disgustingly sweet garbage your forced to endure on tree house TV. Overall a good family film but keep in mind the target audience is a bit younger than alot of these animated films.