Sunday, August 31, 2008

Plans, plans, plans......

So I have been on holidays for about a week now???..... What have I done with my time?.... Not much, I repainted an action figure and mildly re sculpted the hair to look like me. Now My Jareth, Labyrinth action figure can have a girlfriend (if the unicorns didn't tip you off I'm a bit of a nerd).

I went to a small show in town with some girls from work, that was pretty fun, I even had a good time dancing and that's not like me at all!!!. The boyfriend and I had a few serious conversations, and we have decided that by next fall we want to try for a baby (hopefully we will be in our own small home by then). I have decided that if I don't get pregnant by next fall I refuse to have children at all, its a now or never type of deal for me.

I have started feeling my creative self waking up after two long years of silence, and I have decided there are quite a few things I want to do with my life regarding my writing and art. So I would like to have my kids now before too many of my plans get to far along and have babies clog the wheels of progress. If I have them sooner and pace myself regarding personal goals then by the time I pick up steam they will be on their way to school and free up a large chunk of my day.

So this next year will be all about creating a home, and getting my art and writing out on paper as much as possible. I would love to find a way to work from home for the next few years but also to be my own boss, sell my art online or even start an online gift store. I'm tired of working for everyone else, I want to be self sufficient and given the amount of money I make right now it shouldn't be to hard to meet that goal.

I'm feeling really motivated and confident lately. I know what I want and I also know I am capable of making it happen I just have to push forward and make it happen. I can do that!, the alternative is to continue to let life make me its bitch and be miserable. I don't know where this burst of life came from but I'm so glad it did, I'm really starting to feel alot more optimistic about my options in life!!!.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

white knight syndrome........

White Knight syndrome

A personality characteristic found in most males that cause them to:

1. rush to the aid of any female they see who appears in any form of distress.

2. Become attracted to said damsel in distress.

3. Follow the dying code of chivalry and generally act like a nice guy.

Also called young mans disease.

Despite the fact I am a young woman myself I think I may suffer from white knight syndrome. When I see or hear of family and friends plights I am up at arms ready to defend or protect until the death. It feels a bit hypocritical though as I am usually more passive when dealing with my own problems, I think a skill I need to learn is to detach emotionally when being confided in.

Its impossible to try to solve all the worlds problems but I cant fight that urge to take up arms, I wonder if I may be trying to tackle others problems as a way of avoiding my own?. Perhaps??? I also wonder how many syndromes one person can have at any given time?, will my white knight syndrome clash violently with my Peter Pan syndrome??

or is my hypochondria the biggest problem I am facing today???

Saturday, August 16, 2008

why a blog???? why now???

Some of you may be asking yourselves... why a blog? what have you got to say that's worth hearing???.

The answer is this I'm not sure if anything I have to say will ever be worth hearing but I was inspired by a book I recently read to start to document my life in some form or another. Then I thought, whats the point of writing something no one will ever read? so now its online and maybe someone will happen upon it and find something of interest to take away from this.

To start the book that inspired me to try to chronicle my life or opinions was called "A Woman in Berlin" author: anonymous. This book is a diary of a woman living in Berlin during the fall of the Hitler regime as the Russian troops began occupation, It was an incredible read. She gives the reader details into the daily life in Berlin as the change of power takes place she records daily life from ration portions to the raping of herself and many other women. It highlights her own survival and thought process as these things are happening as well as her observations of how the people around her are managing to survive.

I hope there never comes a day when my Blog has so much horror or significance as this piece of work but it really makes you think how the written word can in a way immortalise a person. Had she never put pen to paper some of the more gruesome details of daily life for a woman living in war times may not be fully known, she has frozen a time period on paper for all to re experience this horrific time for themselves. Its a great book that really captures human nature at both its finest and its worst and I would highly recommend this book to anyone.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Yay!! blogging at last!!

This is my first blog......must find a computer savy individual to assist in some formating tweaks!!! Good times!!! Another new project in the works!!.