Tuesday, November 25, 2008

better now...

I'm feeling better now. I needed a day or two to think and to talk. I may not have all the answers but I wont get anywhere if I give in to my feelings of defeat. I may not have everything I'm wanting in life but I have whats important and what is vital for my survival. I have a great partner, a supportive and loving family, two snuggable little dogs, wonderful friends, I'm healthy, with food, clothing and a home. While a few years have passed me by with little to show for them I'm not doing as badly as I could be. Its just time to up my game and start to make new plans, plans that are a bit more grounded in reality. Reality may not be where my heart wants to wander, but my reality is not bad either.

I may not be married yet but at least I didn't marry the wrong person too early. I may not have a great career yet, but at least I didn't go into student debt to be at the same place I am right now like allot of young people. I may not have traveled the world but I have seen and lived in three of our Provinces and may one day see more of this great Country yet. I may not have a baby yet but I think were ready to start that dream sooner than previously discussed. Our family may not be there for the first few months or years of our first babies life but that doesn't mean we cant move closer to home one day later. I can look myself in the mirror each day and honestly say Im a good person, I work hard, Im honest, Loyal and I try to be as kind as I can to every living thing....even if sometimes I dont really want to be!. I worry about and send positive energy out to my loved ones and when I know I have said or done something hurtful to others I do regret it and try to make ammends. I am successful in life. I may not be rich or famous, but I didnt have to stab backs and ruin lives to be where I am either, sometimes a change in perspective can help you see all the things to be glad about.

I just have to keep my life a bit more flexible and remember that I may not move mountains and have my name written in the history books but people I meet along my travels remember me. I have friends across the country, I make people laugh, I make people think and I try to be there to help as I'm needed. I may not make history but I can at least make someones day here or there and that may not seem important but I think the world would be a better place if we all gave it a try sometime. So today I'm going to make the choice to stand up put one foot in front of the other and get my shit together, its only to late when I'm dead!!!!