hmmmmmm a baby or a capuchin monkey????

So sometimes I enjoy looking around online to see what adorable little creatures may be in need of a new home. Not that I am able to take on more until I own my own place, but I am always curious. Well last week I saw an add for a free Jack Russel Terrier and decided to let the people upstairs know about it, as they are considering getting their puppy a playmate.

I wrote out the info from the add and left it on a post-it note on their door, a few days later my neighbor asked me about the add and I told her I would try to find it again on Craigslist and print out a copy for her. I went back to Craigslist and there was no information about the Jack Russel but oddly enough there were two adds for a Capuchin monkey!!!!.

There are two type of people in the world those who have always dreamed of owning a monkey and those who have a bias against monkeys ( Dane Cook?). I am one of those people who always wanted one. As a kid I would reach into the monkey exhibit at the local zoo to hand my furry friends a peanut or a fruit slice. I wanted to take the spider monkeys home with me!!!. But as you get a bit older the possibility of having a monkey just seems non existent.

Now, lo and behold years later I find a link that makes the world of monkey ownership seem possible once more. I am ecstatic I run to get the boyfriend, hey Chris look!!!! WE CAN GET A MONKEY!!!!!! Can you believe it!!!. Chris's face darkens and the stern voice of reason pipes in "We are not getting a monkey".

I smile and laugh "That's what you said about both dogs too!!!", my dreams of monkey stewardship are not to be shot down by reason!!. The next morning I wake up and start to get ready for work, The monkey is on my brain. I sit in front of the computer and check YouTube "Hey Chris!! look these monkeys can help disabled people!!"...."WE ARE NOT GETTING A MONKEY!!!".

Later that evening, "Hey Chris lets face it, we missed the band wagon of having kids!!".

"What are you talking about?"

"Well everyone else has already had some so its not as exciting anymore....lets be the first ones in our group of friends TO HAVE A MONKEY!!!!"

"NO"

" But think about it, A monkey will never ask you for an xbox for Christmas!!"

Silence...Chris's last line of defence when he has decided to hold fast to his opinion and refuses to listen to my arguments...For today I need to regroup my thoughts and prepare for tomorrows onslaught!!!. I glance behind me and there sits Mushu my Chihuahua/ Dachshund cross, her Giant Bulbous eyes send their Chihuahua cute beams straight for the heart I go and scoop her up and give her a cuddle.

The monkey pops into my head again...this time I see it pulling her tail, trying to bite her or carrying Foxy (my 3lb Pomeranian) onto the rooftop shrieking. Suddenly the monkey in my brain, as exciting and fabulous as it was only moments before grabs his adorable little hat and tiny suitcase and goes through the door of impossibility once more..... :(

Fear

Fear is the black ocean and all the creatures lurking within waiting for their chance to suck me beneath the waves kicking and screaming to dine on my flesh. I fear sharks and giant squid but more importantly man eating mermaids. I cant watch documentaries on the ocean without my heartbeat accellerating. I have to force myself to get even as far as my waist when we go to the ocean, even then my time there is short lived. The idea of swimming, snorkling or diving in the open water fills me with dread. The many new species of fish discovered during the tsunami a few years ago horrify me and make me wonder what other horrible things unknown to man may be hiding in the darkest depths. The ocean floor is my vision of hell. While I love living on the coast and spending hours at the beach my legs will never be sea worthy.

FREEDOM!! snipping away at what doesnt work!

So I have officially deactivated my Facebook account as well as cut off my cable!!!. Why? well let me go into detail.....

For the larger part of 2008 I have felt as though I was surviving and not really living. I would wake up, work, pay the bills, wash, sleep and repeat. The time in between where I could be making use of my reawakened inspiration to create was wasted in front of the television and becoming addicted to checking my facebook updates.

Living on the opposite coast from my family and friends in a small town with an even smaller list of recreational activities to do in the bad weather has been tough. I viewed Facebook as my lifeline a way to keep in touch and keep relationships strong despite the distance. But despite the many features added to make things easier to share with your friends and family, over time I found relationships feeling cold. NOT to imply that my family and friends were being cold!!! But it is always human nature to find the easiest way to accomplish a task and being human I fell into the Facebook trap. What trap you may ask???

The outsider looking in trap!. Pre-Facebook I would have to put in the effort of writing out a long email to update people of the ongoing events happening in my life I would take the time to enquire about their news and updates and in return receive a long heartfelt response. The days of Facebook have made it so easy for me to just pop onto a persons profile glance at a few updates and messages and feel that I had been adequately updated on their life, so much so that the personal effort to maintain contact as I had before seemed irrelevant.

But over time I realised......other than a half paragraph response to an update every so often I had not had very much REAL contact with the people in my life that are very important to me. When was the last time I had a heart to heart with a friend? when was the last time I bothered to phone? when was the last time I had taken the time to let people in my life know more about whats going on than a quick one sentence update every few days. Rather than making it easier to keep in touch with people Facebook only made it easier for me to maintain an illusion of human contact. The people in my life that I am glad to know deserve better!!! I should HAVE to put in an effort to keep them around, because they are worth it, that's what real friends do isn't it? Its time to be a better friend... No more just calling it in.

I am trying this year to become a better person, not that I was a bad person before, not that I feel my personality is horribly flawed. I enjoy sarcasm and bitching that's not going to change its who I am and what my life experiences have made me :). But I am learning to see the humor and irony in the things that used to only just enrage me. I am willing to forgive hurts bestowed on me by others BUT I'm not stupid enough to forget them. Is every relationship in life salvageable? No!!! Some people are just toxic and will only ever suck the life out of you, but just acknowledge it didn't work out and walk away. There is no reason to harbour fantasies of revenge or wish them ill for years (as I am prone to do).

I am a pagan, my spirituality is very closely linked to the earth. I used to have flawless unwavering faith, I could feel the life force and divine presence in everything with little to no effort. For a few months It was almost as though my cord to that life force was snipped away, I had disconnected from my beliefs,I spent so much time on superficial things that I had lost touch with a big part of me. I need to make time to find that inner peace again to rebuild the bridge between me and my faith and find a way to incorporate it into my life seamlessly again.

Its time to start a more genuine life. Do instead of dream, LIVE instead of exist and remember what its like to be a part of the natural world rather than slip into the role of another gear in the consumerism machine, filling my days with technology and material things to fill the void that today's society has created in people. I choose to fill that void with humanity, going back to our roots. Plant some flowers feel the earth, Do some art, enjoy more time with my family....maybe take up an instrument.....

Snip away what doesn't work and make some room for what does!!!

Friends

Conversations in my house usually go into three categories:

~things I care about but the boyfriend doesn't (being the largest)
~things he cares about but I don't (second in size)
~things we both enjoy that incite hours of stimulating conversations (IE: books, comics, music, movies...but allot of these can be funnelled into categories one and two, therefore its still the smallest)

The following conversation is a Category one:

Me: "who do you think would win in a fight between Cerberus and a chimera?"

Chris:*bewildered expression* "Whats a chimera?"

Me: "You know part lion/ goat and serpent!!"

Chris:"oh, I don't know"

Me: "Well the chimera is pretty Bad Ass!! Especially if you say he has a large serpent head in the front and a smaller one on the tail, then you can throw in wings, he seems to have the advantage!!. But then Cerberus is the hound of hell!!!...that's gotta make him pretty tough too right?"

Chris: *stares at me strangely in an uncomfortable silence for a minute*

Me: *sigh* " I wish I had some mythological friends!!!"

Chris: begins to laugh hysterically

Me: "NOT IMAGINARY FRIENDS!!!! people who enjoy mythology!!!!"

btw~ for those of you who may be curious I'm totally gunning for the chimera!!

Revenge of the WASP!!!!!

So last Sunday I was at work in the bakery, out back making some colorful Easter cupcakes when myself and one other girl hear a few shrieks and gasps coming from the front of the store. We look out front and don't see anything so get back to work, a moment later one of the cashiers runs out back and declares in a state of alarm "there is a wasp in the bakery".

"Is it on the food?"

"no"

"whats the problem?"

She runs back out front to help the line of customers. The other girl and I both look at each other then peek out the window into the store front, there are about ten customers in the store a few men, women and one child. The entire group of them are cowering beside the sweet display while the one lone minuscule Wasp flies about the store minding its own business. My coworker goes out to regain calm. I decide I want to sit back and watch how this "incident" plays out, I take my place by the window and watch the scene unfold before my eyes.

My coworker dish towel in hand is running through the Bakery swishing and swiping into the air trying to shoo the Wasp toward the door. A woman at the counter ducks and flails her arms "WHERE IS THE WASP???? I'M NOT MOVING UNTIL I KNOW WHERE IT IS!!!" she clings her child protectively in front of her, three people inch further from her afraid her spastic flailing arms herald the approach of the Wasp.

I watch two men in their early fifties duck and cower by the cookie rack, the woman by the counter still shrieking and making a fuss "Where is the wasp??? where is the wasp???". The other customers in the store are still pressed firmly into the sweet display awaiting the removal of the wasp from the bakery before they dare walk out the door, all eyes on my coworker in quick pursuit. After about ten minutes my coworker finally gets the Wasp next to the door and pushes it open. One of the older gentlemen who was only just moments before ducking and hiding his head beneath his arms turns around and swings his bag in a last ditch effort of self preservation.

SUCCESS!!! The Wasp flies out the door, its reign of terror complete at last. The shrieking woman at the counter is still in hysterics and the older guy (must have been her husband) walks up to her puffing out his chest "Its okay honey I took care of it!".

My coworker comes back and we just look at each other and cant help but laugh!!! I realise its been a long winter but COME ON!!!!!

Wasp-1
Human Race-0

Until we meet again wasp...until we meet again......

Words of wisdom...

"Never Fear Being Vulgar, Just Boring"

-Diana Vreeland

Words I live by daily.

get to know me better...

A few Random Michellie thoughts today....


The first is that I am hereby and henceforth changing the term 'common sense' to 'uncommon sense'. I feel 'common sense' is an oxymoron as those with sense seem to be outnumbered by those without, therefore sense is now less common. So have some uncommon sense in the future and know you are now among the elite few in society.....your ritual robe and hazing guide shall arrive in the mail shortly.


Second I have a theory about fat girls with small breasts....god hates them. The only perk about putting on weight is the sweet jugs that come with the package, if the sweet jugs don't arrive after a years worth of binging at 'Dunk in Donuts' then you must have killed an orphan in a past life. Evidently I was Genghis Khan, My evening will be filled with shaking my fist at the sky angrily while I do some squats.




Twenty things I enjoy in life.....


1. family (includes my boyfriend and puppies)
2. friends
3. everyone Else's puppies and kitties :).
4. unicorns, fairies, elves anything mythological or fantasy related.
5. Paganism and finding faith in the goddess.
6. Gothic Lolita fashion.
7. Spicy foods, spiced with freshly diced Habenero peppers.
8. books, sometimes as a kid they were my only friends.
9. laughing, I enjoy laughing and making other people laugh.
10. art projects, painting sculpting, drawing.
11. Mango ice cream, it dominated cheesecake in my favourite dessert category.
12. Forests, nothing soothes my soul better than a hike in the woods.
13. Beach combing, I love to find natures treasures on the shore.
14. Imagination, I could daydream all day if I had the time.
15. Zoodles straight from the can, bowls and microwaves are for suckers.
16. collecting Windstones and fairies.
17. road trips, I just like driving on long stretches of road with my boyfriend and a cup of Tim Horton's coffee.
18. flea markets/ thrift stores someone Else's junk most likely will be my treasure.
19. poker nights with friends, so much fun I miss those.
20. planning a get together that requires cooking a great meal and playing hostess.




20 things that I hate (yes I know its a strong word)


1. Mankind's superiority complex over the animal kingdom, has it ever occurred to you that your not better than them?.
2. teen angst, emo, all of it. makes me grit my teeth.
3. celebrity worship, yes some of them are attractive but I also realise they fart and poop like the rest of us.
4. Stephen Harper, that's right Steve-o, you hate the ladies and we hate you too!
5. Movie adaptations of comics, Hollywood has raped every character I have ever loved (except you V).
6. People who talk on their cell phones while being waited on in line...your fucking rude and I hope you get short changed every time.
7. Cell phones, used for anything less than an emergency or to help you meet up with someone in person. Remember the good old days when people only had cell phones if they had important business calls???. Not soccer moms calling home to get a household census on ice cream or potato chips!!.
8. People who tap glass, tapping glass displays or animals terrariums, your an ignorant chimp....try using your words.
9. The screech of death all children make in the Wall mart.
10. People who walk slowly and wont move to one side of a shopping aisle, also in this category people who stand around and chat in shopping aisles blocking them for other customers.
11. When I have to repeat myself to people more than once.
12. People who ask questions then don't shut up to hear the answer. Especially when they interrupt the answer halfway to repeat the same stupid question.
13. Stand up showers,not fun to shave in.
14. Unwashed moldy smelling coats, for a year straight guys with the gross coats would always decide to sit next to me at the theater, now I block my seat.
15. People who are blatantly rude to sales people because they know the sales person has to be polite to them.
16. Parents who watch their children throw tantrums in a store but they still buy them the candy (or reward them).
17. creepy old guys who hit on young girls if your 40 and dating a 19 year old your just a loophole pedophile. (cougars this is you too!)
18. Fake people, be yourself , life is to short to try to impress everyone else.
19. Bleeding heart liberals sympathy for societies monsters, if you rape a woman or child your rights should be forfeit.
20. Dogma and organised religion, I feel it pushes man further from god.




there you have it folks some randomness... enjoy or don't.....its up to you!!!